Ken had never had a bone scan before, so we weren’t really sure what to expect. We had to go back to the imaging center, but to a different section this time. Instead of pushing the white glop through Ken’s feeding tube again, they were going to inject some kind of dye into his veins. They took us back into a little room and had Ken roll up his sleeve so they could get to his arm. The technician asked some questions while the nurse was injecting the dye. After about the third or so question, she asked, “He has ‘mets’?” (That’s hospital shorthand for cancer that has metastasized or spread to other places in the body.) The question sort of caught me off guard and I stammered, “I guess that’s what we’re here to find out.” Hearing someone say it out loud for the first time sort of squeezed all the air out of my lungs.
After they had injected the dye, they told us to go get some lunch and come back in a couple of hours. I think we ended up at Long John Silver’s or someplace like that. Neither one of us was really hungry and we were both too scared to talk about what this test could mean, so we just sat across the table from each other and held hands. We finally went back to Erlanger and sort of wandered around until it was time to go back for the scan. They took Ken back and sent me out into the waiting room. I’ve often thought that they should change the name from “waiting room” to “worrying room” because that’s mostly what I did–worry. I’m sure it was the same for most of the other “waiters”.
When the scan was over, they told us that it would take two to three days for the results to be read and sent to Dr. Schlabach. We went home and worried some more. On the second day, I waited until about 3:00 p.m. and called to see if Dr. S. had received the scan results yet. They said, “No, not yet. We’ll call you when they come and the Dr. has had a chance to go over them.” I waited in agony until well after 6:00 o’clock before giving up for the day. I knew that Dr. S. usually made his calls after 5:00, but if he hadn’t called by 6:00, he probably didn’t know anything.
The following morning (day three), I paced the floors until about 10:00 o’clock before I called. Told them who I was and what I wanted and she said she didn’t see anything at the front desk, but she would run back to Dr. Schlabach’s office and see if the results were on his desk. The ladies at the cancer center were very good about checking for people and not just letting them “hang”. And if the test results were good, even though they weren’t supposed to tell until the Dr. told them it was okay to call, they would go ahead and “whisper” that the news was good. She came back on the line and said, “Ummmm, yes, the results are here, but I don’t think Dr. Schlabach has had a chance to look at them yet.” I was sort of surprised by her response, because they’d “whispered” results to me before when Dr. S. hadn’t looked at them. “We’ll call you back this afternoon,” she said in that overly-cheerful manner that people have when they don’t want to tell you bad news. “Okay”, I said, “I’ll be by the phone waiting for your call”.
I forced myself to wait until 4:00 o’clock before I called again. This time she said, “Dr. Schlabach is looking at the scan results right now. Give us about 15 minutes and we’ll give you a call!” (still overly-cheerful, I noticed). When the phone rang a little bit later, I took three deep breaths and tried to control my rapidly pounding heartbeat. “Hello?”, I said, with a tremble in my voice. “Mrs. Lunsford? It’s Dr. Schlabach.” I felt my already-broken heart beginning to shatter into even tinier little pieces. I did NOT want it to be the Dr. The Dr. himself never EVER called unless it was bad news!! I think I may have even told him that I didn’t want to talk to him. Dr. S. said, “Well I wanted to call you myself because we have a whole new situation going on”. “What kind of situation?” I whispered. “The scan shows that Ken has cancer in his bones,” he said in that “doctor-ish” tone of voice. “Which bones?” I asked (as if it really even made a difference at that point). “Unfortunately”, he replied, “the scan shows cancer in bones all over Ken’s body. It is in his skull, his ribs, his legs, his pelvis and his spine”. After what seemed like an eternity, I was finally able to ask Dr. S. what we needed to do now. He told me to bring Ken to the office the next morning and we would discuss our “options”.
I hung up the phone and sat there with it in my hand for the longest time. Ken was in the back of the house playing video games or watching TV with Jesse and Benjamin. I asked him to come into the kitchen for a minute. When he came in, I was facing the sink, not able to look at him yet. “Darlin’, what is it?” he said as he turned me around. “It’s back! The cancer is back!” I whispered through tears. He just looked at me with those sweet blue eyes and nodded his head.
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