No, I’m not talking about Jesse when he forgets to shave, though he does tend to let himself get pretty furry before he does. Even Benjamin, of late, has begun to sport a little fuzz on his upper lip. Anyway… when I talk about my “furry children”, I am referring to our dogs.
If you had asked me before Ken died if I would ever have three dogs at the same time, I would have called you CRAZY! But here I sit, loving and taking care of three of the silliest dogs on God’s green earth.
Our oldest dog is “Dots”. He got that name from Jesse, who with the perfect logic of his Aspergian mind, took one look and said, “He has dots all over him. We should call him Dots.” He is, we think, a Rat Terrier, white with black spots (or black with white spots, depending on how you look at it). I say we think he is a rat terrier because he was a shelter rescue and we don’t really know for sure. He certainly looks like a rat terrier.
Dots is the only one of our pups that I actually went out purposely to adopt. It was several months after Ken had been diagnosed with cancer. I wanted something that would take the boys’ minds off of all of the grimness that comes when dealing with a terminal illness. When I told Ken I wanted to get them a dog, I don’t think he really thought I was serious. I don’t think he could imagine that I would want one more thing in that house that needed to be taken care of. Now that I think back on it, it was kind of nuts. I guess I can always plead temporary insanity.
I had heard on the radio that one of the pet stores in Chattanooga was having a pet adoption fair that Sunday afternoon, so I casually suggested we go after church and “have a look”. When we got there, most of the dogs they had were HUGE. I’m talking, big old wolf-hound looking dogs. I knew I didn’t want a puppy because I didn’t want to have to go through the “chewing stage” again. The last puppy we had chewed everything in the house, including the linoleum off of our bathroom floor. I am still not sure how he managed to pull it up in the first place to get his teeth on it. Anyway, I was about to walk out when I saw this sad looking black and white dog looking at me. He had his head down and the look in his eyes said, “I’m not going to get up and wag my tail at you because it wouldn’t do any good…nobody wants me.” I went over and put my fingers through the bars of his kennel and scratched his head. He licked my fingers and I knew he was our dog. We took him home, much to the boys’ delight. Ken just shook his head.
Now Ken had never liked the idea of having a dog in the house. In fact, when we were engaged, he tried to talk me into making my dog, Clarissa, into an outdoor dog. I told him that if he intended for me to live in the same house as him, then Clarissa would have to live there too. He didn’t like it, but I guess true love won out, because he relented and allowed her to live in the house. But he would absolutely NEVER allow her to get up on any of the furniture. I figured it would be the same with Dots. So you can imagine my surprise when I came in one day and found Dots curled up IN KEN’S LAP. That dog not only was a comfort and distraction for Jesse and Benjamin, he became a real comfort to Ken as well.
I think Dots knew that Ken was going to die. Toward the end, he stayed close to Ken wherever he went. The morning Ken died, I was on the foot of our bed (his hospital bed was pushed up against the end of the bed) holding his hand. Dots was laying beside me, watching Ken. The house was absolutely full of people. Usually Dots would have been having a fit, barking at everybody for invading his territory. But strangely, he just laid there beside me and never took his eyes off of Ken. Then, just as Ken was breathing his last labored breaths, Dots stood up and moaned. I believe he knew that Ken was leaving. It was the eeriest thing I’ve ever seen. In the weeks following Ken’s death, poor Dots would roam the house whining, looking for Ken. He would go from room to room and come look at me and whine, as if to say, “Where is he?” “I know, Buddy”, I would say, “I miss him too”. Then I would bury my face in Dots’ fur and we would cry together. Dots has been a comfort to all of us.
Hmmmm…I spent more time on Dots than I realized. I’ll talk about the other two next post.
Unplugged -- The Great TV-less Experiment
Well, I guess I should qualify that title a little bit. We are not TV-less. We still have TVs…very, very old ones that don’t work unless they are connected to some kind of cable or satellite dish. We are TV Programming-less. After months of contemplating it, I finally called and had them turn it off.
The last time I remember being programming-less was right after Ken and I moved into our second house, when we were expecting Jesse. Now, all those years later, for some reason, paying for programming was just not making so much sense anymore. Most of what we watched was junk. And a lot of it was the SAME old junk, over and over, and OVER! I mean, how many times do I need to see the same episodes of Law and Order or Forensic Files to know that they are always going to end the same way?! I think I had the TV on most of the time just for company—just for noise. But I live in a house with two teenagers and three dogs…there’s always noise!
The first several times I mentioned doing it, months and months ago, Jesse and Benjamin would sort of get that “deer-in-the-headlights” look, like they couldn’t believe I could really be serious. Then they got to where they would just roll their eyes at me, as if to say, “Sure, sure, sure…we know you won’t ever REALLY do it!”
Then about a month ago, the most amazing thing happened. The boys brought it up! They said how they thought we would be better off just having Netflix and watching whatever movies we chose to watch instead of watching the same old boring stuff! You could have knocked me over with a feather! I told them to think about it because in their entire lives, there has never been a time when we were programming-less. It would be a BIG change. I gave them about a week and we talked about it again. They were still saying, “Pull the plug!” So, that’s what I did. I called and got us set up with Netflix and we started choosing movies. So, instead of paying $80.00 a month for programming that we weren’t really watching, we’re paying only $20.00 a month and we get to choose what we want to watch. Saving money and having choices—sounds like a win-win situation to me.
The best part about the whole thing is that the boys, especially Benjamin, have been coming downstairs and actually watching movies WITH THEIR MAMA!!!! We are really spending more time together as a family. What a bonus!
So far, we have watched Karate Kid (the new one, with Will Smith’s son and Jackie Chan), which is a great movie; Shutter Island, which was good, but seeing Leonardo Dicaprio play middle-aged crazy sort of messed with my mind; Secretariat…really good family movie (btw…did you know the horse’s real name was Big Red? They only called him Secretariat because the racing commission required that all the horses have “unique” names.); and The Illusionist, which was good, but very predictable. I have passed on watching Jesse’s anime and Benjamin’s horror choices. All in all, I would have to say that so far, at least, “Lunsfords Unplugged” has been a good experience!
The last time I remember being programming-less was right after Ken and I moved into our second house, when we were expecting Jesse. Now, all those years later, for some reason, paying for programming was just not making so much sense anymore. Most of what we watched was junk. And a lot of it was the SAME old junk, over and over, and OVER! I mean, how many times do I need to see the same episodes of Law and Order or Forensic Files to know that they are always going to end the same way?! I think I had the TV on most of the time just for company—just for noise. But I live in a house with two teenagers and three dogs…there’s always noise!
The first several times I mentioned doing it, months and months ago, Jesse and Benjamin would sort of get that “deer-in-the-headlights” look, like they couldn’t believe I could really be serious. Then they got to where they would just roll their eyes at me, as if to say, “Sure, sure, sure…we know you won’t ever REALLY do it!”
Then about a month ago, the most amazing thing happened. The boys brought it up! They said how they thought we would be better off just having Netflix and watching whatever movies we chose to watch instead of watching the same old boring stuff! You could have knocked me over with a feather! I told them to think about it because in their entire lives, there has never been a time when we were programming-less. It would be a BIG change. I gave them about a week and we talked about it again. They were still saying, “Pull the plug!” So, that’s what I did. I called and got us set up with Netflix and we started choosing movies. So, instead of paying $80.00 a month for programming that we weren’t really watching, we’re paying only $20.00 a month and we get to choose what we want to watch. Saving money and having choices—sounds like a win-win situation to me.
The best part about the whole thing is that the boys, especially Benjamin, have been coming downstairs and actually watching movies WITH THEIR MAMA!!!! We are really spending more time together as a family. What a bonus!
So far, we have watched Karate Kid (the new one, with Will Smith’s son and Jackie Chan), which is a great movie; Shutter Island, which was good, but seeing Leonardo Dicaprio play middle-aged crazy sort of messed with my mind; Secretariat…really good family movie (btw…did you know the horse’s real name was Big Red? They only called him Secretariat because the racing commission required that all the horses have “unique” names.); and The Illusionist, which was good, but very predictable. I have passed on watching Jesse’s anime and Benjamin’s horror choices. All in all, I would have to say that so far, at least, “Lunsfords Unplugged” has been a good experience!
Back Again
Recently I have felt the urge to blog again. I know I said that I would end once I finished the story of Ken’s illness and death…and I did…for a while. But now, for some unknown reason, it feels like I should continue.
I had the blog made into a book. I titled it Through Shadow Into Light. Ordered copies for Jesse and Benjamin, plus a couple to share. Strangely, though, the “sharing” copies haven’t been used much. It seems that not many people are interested in reading it. “Too sad”, is the reason I hear most. And, yes, it IS sad. But it is also sweet and touching and I think it could help people understand how a terminal illness like that can affect a family.
I wonder why people are so afraid of being sad. It is like they will do whatever they can just to make sure they can avoid tears and keep smiling. If they encounter someone who is sad, they feel they are duty-bound to try and cheer that person up. But sometimes, being sad is the most appropriate thing a person can do in a given situation. And (believe it, or not) IT IS OKAY TO BE SAD SOMETIMES!!! I was watching a Christmas movie on TV in December, and one of the characters made the statement, “Sometimes you just need to sit still and be sad.” I totally agree. But I realize that my sadness makes most people very uncomfortable. So, I determine which ones it bothers and adjust my attitude and discussions accordingly. I think it’s that way for most grieving people. They feel like they have to cover up their feelings at times for the comfort of others.
Anyway, I thought that maybe I should just start a new blog and give it another name to keep it separate from the first story. But, I’m still “Sammi”, and it is still going to consist of things I say, so I guess it will stay “Sammi Says”. For the ones of you who don’t know the story, Sammi is a family nickname I gave myself when I was little. It seems everybody thought I sounded so cute when I said my name, that they would ask me what my name was over, and over, and OVER. Mama says one day I had evidently had enough of it, because when the next person asked, “What’s your name?” I looked them dead in the eye and said, “Sam”. I’ve been Sammi ever since.
I had the blog made into a book. I titled it Through Shadow Into Light. Ordered copies for Jesse and Benjamin, plus a couple to share. Strangely, though, the “sharing” copies haven’t been used much. It seems that not many people are interested in reading it. “Too sad”, is the reason I hear most. And, yes, it IS sad. But it is also sweet and touching and I think it could help people understand how a terminal illness like that can affect a family.
I wonder why people are so afraid of being sad. It is like they will do whatever they can just to make sure they can avoid tears and keep smiling. If they encounter someone who is sad, they feel they are duty-bound to try and cheer that person up. But sometimes, being sad is the most appropriate thing a person can do in a given situation. And (believe it, or not) IT IS OKAY TO BE SAD SOMETIMES!!! I was watching a Christmas movie on TV in December, and one of the characters made the statement, “Sometimes you just need to sit still and be sad.” I totally agree. But I realize that my sadness makes most people very uncomfortable. So, I determine which ones it bothers and adjust my attitude and discussions accordingly. I think it’s that way for most grieving people. They feel like they have to cover up their feelings at times for the comfort of others.
Anyway, I thought that maybe I should just start a new blog and give it another name to keep it separate from the first story. But, I’m still “Sammi”, and it is still going to consist of things I say, so I guess it will stay “Sammi Says”. For the ones of you who don’t know the story, Sammi is a family nickname I gave myself when I was little. It seems everybody thought I sounded so cute when I said my name, that they would ask me what my name was over, and over, and OVER. Mama says one day I had evidently had enough of it, because when the next person asked, “What’s your name?” I looked them dead in the eye and said, “Sam”. I’ve been Sammi ever since.
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