The gastroenterologist’s office called the next day and told us Ken had an appointment with the surgeon IN TWO WEEKS! How in the world did they expect us to wait two whole weeks to find out what was going on?! As soon as I hung up with them, I called the surgeon’s office and spoke to his nurse. I explained what was going on and told her that there was no way in heck that we could last two weeks, wondering like that. She kindly checked the Dr.’s schedule and told me we could come in three days. That would give plenty of time for the results of the biopsies to be in.
In the meantime, life at the Lunsford house was just plain CRAZY! The phone was ringing constantly and people we hadn’t seen in FOREVER were showing up at our front door. I know that they were concerned for us, and I really appreciated that, but at that point, we really didn’t know for sure what Ken’s diagnosis was and what his prognosis was going to be. And, in all honesty, we were both so stunned that neither one of us was able to hold a meaningful conversation for long.
We decided not to say the word “cancer” to Jesse and Benjamin until we knew for sure. We just told them that Daddy had something growing in his stomach that wasn’t supposed to be there and that we would be going to the Dr. to see if he could fix it. Benjamin was such a little guy (only seven-years-old), I don’t think it really affected him to any great degree. I noticed a momentary flash of panic in Jesse’s eyes (he was eleven), but he seemed to be okay when we told him the Dr. was going to try and help. After all, in his realm of reality, that’s what always happened. . . if you’re sick, you go see the Dr. and he makes you well. If only. . . .
I cannot tell you what happened during those three “waiting days”. I think my brother, David, came and took the boys to spend the week-end at their house to give us time and space to make some plans. But that may have been another time—I can’t remember. I realize that I say “I’m not sure” and “I don’t remember” a lot. You will have to forgive me. But dealing with such profound “stuff” tends to wipe away specifics for me. I do know that Ken and I spent a lot of time during those days just holding each other and looking into each other’s eyes. Neither one of us had the strength at that point to put our feelings into words.
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