Radiation

Ken’s radiation treatments began without any fuss. We went every weekday morning and were only there for about two hours at the most. Then we’d go home and life went on as “normally” as it could in the world of the dreaded “C-Word”. I remember one funny thing about going for the radiation treatments. You know how people complain about the magazines at the doctors’ offices always being old? Well, one morning we went in and on the table there was a magazine that was dated June, 1977!!!! I’m NOT kidding! The radiation center wasn’t even that old. I’ve often wondered just where the magazine came from. Anyway, it was good for a laugh.

The radiation treatments made Ken very, very tired. In fact, it sort of had a cumulative effect. The more treatments he had, the more tired he was. To begin with, that was the only side-effect he suffered. But, as the weeks passed, Ken began to get sick. First, it was just severe nausea. Then it went into mild diarrhea. He couldn’t eat, so we were having to keep “Bill” pumping more than usual to keep him from losing weight. Then, about when the treatments were ending, the diarrhea got worse. And about two weeks after the treatments were finished, the diarrhea got MUCH worse. In fact, the only word that really describes it would be “explosive”. Poor Ken, he was SO sick. By the end of June, he was taking four different medications to try and stop it and he was hooked up to “Bill” constantly. I was REALLY worried. I was afraid we were going to lose him then. I was SO scared and I was NOT ready for him to go (not that I was EVER ready). I remember laying on the floor by the couch (he was more comfortable there than in the hospital bed) while he slept, listening to him breathe, listening to “Bill” clicking and grinding through the night, burying my face in my pillow, trying not to sob out loud. It was such a heart-breaking time.

Michaelann and Adam were getting married on July 6th. Jesse and Benjamin were both in the wedding. But Ken was so sick, I wasn’t able to go down and be a part of the preparations like I would have liked to. In fact, I wasn’t really sure until the morning of the wedding whether or not I would even get to go. Mama and Daddy came up and got the boys so they’d be there for the rehearsal, but Ken was too sick to go and I wouldn’t leave him even for one night. The morning of the 6th, Ken assured me it would be okay for me to go. I had asked his brother to come and stay with him while I was gone. Before I left, I gave his brother a list of what to do if Ken got worse. Then I put my finger in his face and told him that he was NOT to leave Ken alone, no matter what Ken said. Ken had a habit of making his situation sound better than it really was, and his family tended to be in denial about the whole thing. I was worried that Ken would tell his brother that he was fine and send him on home. I told Ken’s brother if he left before I got back, I would “kick his butt”. He laughed at me, but I was absolutely serious.

Jan and her sister, Jayne, were driving down that morning, so I decided to go with them. I was so exhausted that I was really afraid to drive by myself, especially since the boys would be coming back with me. I was so worried about leaving Ken at home so sick, that I don’t really remember a whole lot about Michaelann’s wedding. I do remember how beautiful she looked coming down the aisle, on her way to marry her sweet Adam. It did my heart good to see how much they loved each other. After the reception, Michaelann asked me to help her get ready to leave the church. Sweet girl...she wanted to make sure I felt like I had been included in the wedding, even though I was only there for a short while. When I look at her wedding pictures now, I’m always surprised at how much of it I don’t remember. It makes me sad, but it couldn’t be helped.