That "Hair Thing" Again

Well, Honey, I don't care. I ain't in love with your hair. And if it all fell out, I'd love you anyway. (Randy Travis, Forever and Ever, Amen)

As I have mentioned in previous posts, I would always get upset when Ken’s hair fell out. I know it’s just hair. In most cases, it grows back. Heck, the first time Ken lost his hair, I even suggested that the boys and I could all get buzz cuts so we would all be bald together. And we would have too – if that’s what Ken had wanted. It’s just that when the hair disappears, it just screams out, “Hey! I am sick! I have CANCER! I am fighting for my life!!!”. And this time, coupled with the “hollow-eyed look” Ken was wearing, it seemed to also scream, “This time I am losing the battle!”

Ken’s hair has started coming out again. He’ll probably be as bald as an onion in a couple of weeks. It just depresses the heck out of me. It’s only hair, but when it’s gone, he looks so much sicker. (Melinda’s Journal, August 30, 2004)

I’d say in another couple of days Ken will be bald again. His hair is coming out in clumps. He’ll be bald for Christmas again. If I could only remember where I put all of his toboggans. I was hoping he’d never need them again. (Melinda’s Journal, September 1, 2004)

Ken is very tired and peaked-looking. I’m worried about him. His hair is getting thinner and thinner. He’s not washing it as often as usual because he knows it will make it come out faster. (Melinda’s Journal, September 2, 2004)

Ken’s blood counts were higher this time. He feels better. He asked me to go ahead and cut the rest of his hair off. It looks better, but it breaks my heart to see him bald again. (Melinda's Journal, September 22, 2004)

Ken finally lost so much of his hair that he asked me to go ahead and cut the rest of it off so it wouldn’t look so scraggly. It was sunny that day, so we sat out on the front porch as I gave him what would be his last haircut ever. I didn’t keep the hair this time...somehow it just didn’t seem like I should.

Sadly, Ken wasn’t bald for Christmas that year...he died the month before Christmas.