Watching Him Go (Part Two)

It has been five years since Ken died. I wrote this to him two years ago, when it had only been three years...same feelings this year--just substitute the word "five" for "three"...same sadness...I still miss him so much. I am including it here because it depicts exactly how Ken's last moments on this earth occurred.

Dear Ken,

Three years ago today I watched your final struggle
against that monstrous disease
that took your health and your dignity. . .
and ultimately took you away from us.

Holding your hand, I felt your fingers begin to grow cool
even as your heart pounded valiantly,
in a futile attempt to keep
your poor battered body alive.

You called out to me, but your eyes didn't see me
when I told you I was beside you-as always.
What a precious gift it was to me that
your final word on this earth was my name.

I put my hand on your chest,
and felt your heart begin to slow.
I called our children and told them
it was time to tell you good-bye.

Your heartbeat stilled and we watched
your eyes grow dim,
as you finally let go of this life
and flew into the outstretched arms of God.

I held our sons in my arms as we watched your body
reflexively draw in and then push out one last breath.
Our baby asked if you were still alive.
I pulled him close and whispered, "No, Daddy's in heaven now".

I thought that time stood still that day.
But now I see that it has raced on
at a dizzying pace.
Three years - gone- in the blink of an eye.

I know that your pain and sorrow are gone.
I know that your life now is peace and joy.
But do you ever think about us?
Are you proud of the young men our sons are becoming?

Do you know how much we miss you?
11/13/07